Living with roommates is just part of the college experience. Sometimes you become lifelong friends, and at other times… well, you end up wondering how one person can possibly use every dish in the apartment and get away without washing a single one.
In college, a little roommate conflict is completely normal. That's what happens when you combine different schedules, personalities, cleaning standards, sleep habits, and backgrounds. Fortunately, most roommate conflicts are completely manageable when handled properly and at the right time.
Here are eight simple tips for handling roommate conflict:
1. Talk About the Small Stuff Before It Becomes Big Stuff
Most roommate problems don't start with one giant problem. They start with tiny annoyances, like a dish left in the sink or someone not turning off a 6 a.m. alarm. In the beginning, you just deal with the annoyance until one day it becomes too much.
Instead of waiting until you're frustrated, bring up the small things early and casually. You could say something like, "Could we figure out a system for dishes? I feel like the sink has been getting pretty full lately."
Setting expectations during the first week or two can prevent a lot of frustration once classes, work, dates, church activities, and everything else start piling up.
2. Assume Your Roommate Isn't a Mind Reader
This is one of the biggest roommate traps. You think to yourself, "Surely they know that's annoying!" But they probably don't.
One roommate might come from a family where dishes were washed immediately, while another might have a completely different experience. And neither routine is right or wrong. The most important thing is finding a system that works for your apartment.
3. Don't Turn the Group Chat Into a Courtroom
Apartment group chats are useful, but they aren't the place to resolve a serious disagreement. It's too easy to misread a text message's tone.
If you're genuinely upset, talk to your roommate directly. A five-minute face-to-face conversation can do a lot more than several strongly worded texts.
4. Pick Your Battles
Successful roommate relationships require flexibility. While your roommate probably has habits you wouldn't choose, you probably have a few habits they wouldn't pick.
Ask yourself: Is this actually affecting my ability to comfortably live here, or is it just different from how I would do things? Save your energy for things that actually matter: cleanliness, sleep, shared spaces, guests, food, personal belongings, and apartment responsibilities.
5. Create Simple Apartment Expectations
A few ground rules can make college apartment living in Rexburg a lot easier.
Talk about things like:
- Who takes out the trash?
- How should dishes be handled?
- How often should shared spaces be cleaned?
- What are everyone's typical sleep schedules?
- How will you handle guests?
- Which food is shared and which food is definitely not shared?
- Who buys things like paper towels, dish soap, and trash bags?
The goal is to remove the tiny uncertainties that create unnecessary conflict.
6. Remember That Midterms Change People
College can be stressful. During midterms and finals at BYU-I, your roommate may be juggling exams, projects, work shifts, church responsibilities, relationships, and an alarming amount of caffeine. That doesn't excuse genuinely rude behavior, but it can help you understand where your roommate might be coming from.
If someone who is normally great suddenly seems irritable, messy, or quiet, there might be more going on. Sometimes the best roommate conflict resolution technique is simply asking your roommate how they're doing.
7. Get Outside the Apartment Together
It's a lot easier to get along when your interactions extend beyond conversations about chores. Grab food together, go to a BYU-I event, watch a movie, or hit the gym.
These casual moments help turn "the people I split an apartment with" into an actual community. And when you know each other better, conversations about apartment issues tend to feel a lot less awkward.
8. Know When to Ask for Help
Most roommate disagreements can be solved between roommates, but sometimes you need another person involved. If you've tried communicating clearly and the issue continues, reach out to our staff.
At Cedars Housing, our crew is local, approachable, and familiar with the realities of BYU-Idaho student life. We're here to help residents navigate situations when they need some extra support.
The Best Roommate Rule? Be the Roommate You'd Want
You can't control every roommate habit, but you can control what you do. Clean up after yourself. Respect other people's belongings. Ask instead of making assumptions. Bring problems up kindly. Give people some grace when they're having a rough week.
Find Your Community at Cedars Housing
Where you live can make your BYU-Idaho experience easier, and a lot more fun.
Cedars Housing offers BYU-Idaho-approved men's housing and women's student housing in Hemming Village, directly across from the BYU-Idaho Stadium. With in-unit washers and dryers, complex gyms, hot tubs, media lounges, covered parking, and restaurants and shops just outside your apartment, student life is made convenient at Cedars Housing.
